Over the last week, I have quietly and contentedly been extremely chuffed with myself for working up the nerve to get blogging. Publishing the first post was a rush of excitement and achievement, and I instantly started planning my next blog post.
This is not that post.
Neither were any of the other twenty six I have since started and then scrapped.
I’ve always talked to myself a lot and am the worlds worst over-thinker, and that is one of the reasons I wanted to blog in the first place (to hopefully quieten the ceaseless chatter of my busy little brain). However, my inner voice has become the biggest, most foul mouthed critic of everything I type. I’ve found myself deleting a plethora of potential posts, primarily because they were just self indulgent drivel (or so the wee inside voice said).
I’ve worried that my only knowledge of the blogging world and how it works, amounts to – there is one, it’s bigger than I knew, and that I really don’t know how it works at all. I’ve worried that simply reading a billion other blogs is not sufficient to be able to write my own. I’ve worried that I don’t have the required netiquette, that I am completely unqualified to just join in, and that I have nothing original to say (back to the potential for self indulgent drivel again), and, that ultimately, nobody would want to read it. (Neither a new or original notion that one, is it?)
After receiving a little feedback, it is an understatement to say I was ecstatic. I was floored to have had any interaction at all, and it felt great. Other bloggers like 3d pens piped up to offer some support and encouragement, and I can’t thank them enough. What a lovely bunch, to just reach out and generate some cheer and good feeling, and it made such a positive difference to me. I’ve obsessed thought it over a lot, and all of those concerns from the wee voice may be well founded, but, so what?
I got to thinking that, no, I don’t know what I’m doing particularly, but I can learn it as I go. I didn’t know what to do as a mum when I became one, but I learned, just like everybody else, and that’s a slightly bigger deal really. I am working on taming the wee inner voice, or more accurately, training a louder inner voice to yell and sing over the top of the doubting whisper- to just do it anyway. When all is said and done, this is a blog and in the grand scale of things it’s really so incredibly small it’s hardly there at all, and on the little scale of things, it is just as it should be; my very own space to say what I want or feel or think, a place to share, to laugh, and to record memories and adventures, ups and downs, and I should stop overthinking it, right? It’s all about perspective really. Life is too short to be scared to do what you want, (especially if that is blogging, maybe not so much if what you want to do is perform Houdini style escapes from a straight-jacket, blindfolded, suspended by your feet, whilst popping your parachuting cherry, or anything crazy like that!).
And so after an emotional roller-coaster of a week, I am decidedly more committed to giving it as go. I will not promise that there won’t be any self indulgent drivel, because if you have read this far, you will note, that this is exactly that. Last week, I
jumped got in the blogging ‘pool’, and despite the fact I feel like I’m flailing around in a puddle, I’ve gotten my feet wet now, and I think I like it.